HhmMm

This is the thing.

If I pass, I am competent. If I don’t, I am not. Regardless of how tough the case is. Pass, competent. Fail, incompetent. No excuses nor sympathy…. It is indeed gonna be very challenging, and my name is synonym to tat. So, take on the verdict.

Some call it suicide mission. Some quietly think (well I know) tat I expose myself to too much of risk. Ya, watever. The cavity needs to be restored regardless of all crap.

Radiant certainty. God’s faithfulness. I know because I know that I know - Jon Walker. It doesn’t really make sense but I know.

…. God help me.

My name is on the line, and my pride and my self esteem and my wild spirit and etc. If I fall, I’m gonna pick myself up again.

Let’s see what letter is going to be on the same line with my name on Friday. It will depend on tomorrow. Will keep the results updated here.

I think I can. Can I think? Then I think I can =) yeah, baby!

The question posed today was "What do I want in life? What would be my ultimate goal?" Ultimate meaning once achieve, you’re not asking for more. Hmp… I dunno. Frankly, I know I won’t be that easily satisfied. Material possession, attention, position, all sort of things this world is after, I am.

Then preacher said, the chasing of the earthly things will not fulfil the void in your heart. We can go a big round of sick cycle carousel and still ended up wondering "What more is there for me?" 2 Cor 4:18 What is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal.

I’m moving up. Slowly but surely. Loving and caring for others is something unseen and not tangible. So I guess I’m gonna do that. I’m moving up. Tai kajie moved on elsewhere already. Ngah kajie needs help. The flock needs more shepherd.  May the unseen Living Water of God quench my eternal thirst.

A lil sis and I were on our feet, hands up. Battling and submitting.

Then an authoritative hand landed on my shoulder and somebody eased in between us. Tat was tai kajie. No words needed, she just started to pray for us. Was a bit amazed that she observed us from far, and from where she was, came to us like an encouragement sent from God. It’s like tho not with us (me) anymore (for a bigger purpose), she is still my big sista and will suddenly pop up by my side at the right timing.

Silly to try not to miss her. Self assuring that things are pretty much still the way they are. Maybe tat’s true. Or kidding myself. Guess she’s having a tougher time missing so many of us. I pray for only the best for you, for you’ve impacted my life so much. So much that you’d never imagine. (Look to sky…)

By the way, all the guppies that you gave me…. what is seen is temporary… died edi =p

Weird. I woke up this morning and realized that each step I take brings strain and tugging effect to my calves. Walking to faculty, walking back, walking up to prosthetic lab and down, find this person and that. All strain and tug tug tug.

I didn’t do any heavy exercise yesterday?

Perhaps, I was sleep walking.

I wonder.

Am I a good person or a bad one.

Which one is the real face and which one is the mask.

Am I an angel? Am I not a devil?

Do I like you, or do I pretend to.

Which side do I really stand?

There’s a black core in my heart.

There’s a black core in me and I dislike it being there.

Gratz my year 3 juniors, months of hard work is finally over.

This week, ONE achievement! Haha! My desire to BAND in my Uni years achieved! REDO is formed. Guerilla’s training every night le… intensive. Some certain degree of stress, finally the show tonight for Dental Night!!

All in all, tat was fun!! The most unfun thing is transporting the musical equipments. zzz =.= the amplifiers dang heavy, stairs, couple of rounds, set up, etc. After the show, dismantle, transport, go college get scolded by guards, took my matrix card, took Kiat Lin and I’s criminal picture, burn a couple more ATPs at the biceps, paid rm 160. ZzzZz dang tired.

But I’ll be all smiles about the band =)

‘Better is One day in the house of the Lord, than thousands elsewhere’

So so true, man. After settling APDSA early in the morning 8am, loading stocks and boxes of goods into cars. Not feeling the need of extra dose of sleep (thank God), I went to church and supported Bible Conference.

Wa… So nice to be there. So many people, get to jump and sing praises early in the morning, get to pray corporately, the busy heart obtained a little more joy and peace when meeting Jesus.

Then hor, wa… busy conference o. HUSC organize ma. Unloading and carrying drinks and food for 400++ people. Haha. I realized tat I enjoy helping and serviing. (??) When I leave church in preparation for Dental Night, the feeling was simply cheerful. How I love to be in the house of God.

So… today, I did lose my temper over a few matters. I verbally leash out against the lorry man kaw kaw. I gave a one finger salute to the UM guard. =.= God forgive.

I’m happy and satisfied. REDO will be forever in my memories. I’m 100% sure that I will not do full band next year due to the transport and loading process. Looking forward the closing ceremony of Bible Conference tomorrow… And gonna witness a surprise marriage proposal!!! Wohoo

So today, from APDSA to BC to DND… I had been doing a lot of unloading and carrying and walking to and fro with weights on my arms. Dead tired.

Monday only can get our matrix cards back. I do nothing wrong, man. Hopefully you won’t see the headline "2 dental students is arrested under ISA and suspended from the faculty". zzzZz. Ciao.