HhmMm

(First of all, I apologize. This blog is written on 27 June 2005).

Praise the Lord. You had done great things.

We’re safely back at where we started, with a slightly different heart. Thank you Lord for listening to our prayer of protection. Your hands were upon us, we drove and arrived at places safe and sound. Being safe and alright is one of my main concern.

Well, we started

Team

Building

I with a Cooking Contest. This was the first event up and the first event which gone delayed, and over budget. Everything went well, I was pair with Sok Yee and realized that this interesting girl can cook. She observes her mom. Everybody was busy getting prepared and (to me), the atmosphere was exciting. Not to mention, oily at sister house =) Daniel and Wai Yun were given a chance to work together. Everything went splendid, of course with the arrival of Pat’s tofu and roasted chicken. Except for one thing. Sok Yee and I wanted to cook Chicken Potato but the poultr meat gave a smelly smell that Angie suspected somebody farted. Sad, RM 4.65 went down the drain as the bad meat found its place into the rubbish bin.

            Thank you Lord I had a refreshing time at Worship Revival Night- Broken, Extravagant Worship. Well, I kept thinking I need to do better and better in my studies, worry a lot about ministry, Dental CG, Dental Dinner and striking a balance with this all. Obviously, my studies will be the price to pay. But Pastor Willie said something I believe that God would like me to know. Grades aren’t that important but we’re not saying to neglect the studies. Pastor Willie said God doesn’t look at the scores of your report card. He encouraged us to serve the true and living God who loves us.

            RM1 cendol (beside the used to be very smelly longkang, according to Amy) was really super sub-standard. I couldn’t even finish mine, partially dt having to brief Amazing Grace Crews. That’s bad, it used to be delicious and popular. I think the cendol (slimey green) is going bad before they cook it. Another bad incident with food.

            After the Amazing Grace (which all Glory to God, received many encouraging remarks), Ben brought us to Chicken Ball rice and besides Soak Fean, none others gave positive feedback, if not a negative one. Anyway, it took up quite a lot of waiting time. Yet another bad incident with food and things are running behind schedule. I started to feel bad as if things won’t turn out right.

            Soon enough, Tse Tsong scratched somebody’s car. When we got the phone call to stop, I almost wanna burst out in tears as I wonder for a split second, where’s my God? Why are things going not according to plans? Did I do anything wrong that cost me the anointing to take charge of this trip? But thankfully it was a split second of faithlessness (repent repent), and somehow I held back and hoped for the best. And yes, God is good. All things are in God’s hands, they’re in good hands. Tse Tsong came back with a smile plastered on his face. The victim car didn’t stop him to ask for compensations. Tse Tsong was delivered. And so were all of us standing united, waiting for Tse Tsong, hoping the best. We all seen God at work that moment. I guess somebody started to pray for covering over Tse Tsong car immediately.

            Who said God isn’t working?

            We had an awesome CG setting

Team

Building

at Ben’s house. Simply lovely and awesome. Siah was my official angel, altho I deceived some by pretending to be their angels and human. Couldn’t have a better angel. Before she knew it, she was searching glue for the outstanding rubber of my car.

            Games and sharing were great. What Amy shared is true, but we don’t always like what we hear. Esp the part on commitment… God would like me to be committed…..? One step further? Another leap of faith?

            Comes next morning. With extra time to spare, we did morning devotion in small groups. Em… I never do that with Hope people. Many with SBC people. When asked for a prayer request, I asked them to pray for my family’s spiritual growth.

Sunday service at Hope Melaka. Like many, I never expected much. But I never cry in the midst of a sermon, this is the first time… Sister Lina of Hope JB strike 2 chords that hit to my heart.

            She was sharing a wonderful work of God concerning a free van, and I was listening attentively and… mom called. Ek, do u know I’m at church? I answered and told her I’m at SS. But she sounded too excited to just hang up and she told me that she bought a bible for RM120 including the case. She told me that Dr Thian will give both mom and dad tuition on some bible classes they missed. ISN’t THAT GREAT?? Em… I forgot to pray for them til now. I pray that they get to learn more about God and His characteristic. The more one knows about God (from bible/ incidents), the more one can love God. At that time I was simply happy. Simply as in simple, and soon forgotten. I said a brief prayer that God will see them through the lessons when I hung up with mom.

            When I tuned back to sermon, apparently I missed a large part of how they decided not to pay pledges for the van but have full faith for a free one. And story ended awesomely with a brand new renovated van for a churchful of faithful people. I didn’t mind missing the story as I believe I’d just heard a great news concerning a new bible.

Then Sis Lina moved on with the sermon and asked, how many of us here with non-believers family members? Hands shot up and I found myself in a privileged position of wondering if I should put my hand up. Then she shared how Elijah (Siah’s bro) family came to know Christ one by one. An amazingly touching story for my heart that my heart cried (so are my eyes, and so am I right now). Persistent prayers move God’s hands. Faithfulness (to see revival) will eventually and surely bears fruits. God’s wonderful plan of salvation is indeed for everyone!! As Siah’s family’s story continue to unfold, I am greatly touched and moved and encouraged by the spirit. My hard-headed dad will have a hope. And I realized how blessed I am to see God starting to show works with my family. I always pray for their spiritual growth (but forgot to do so for past 2/3 days). Doors are opening, and again, I realized God gave an immediate answer to a prayer. A prayer I requested during devotions 3 hours ago. The answer is the phone call that came in at the perfect timing, just before Sis Lina started to share Elijah’s story. Spiritual growth for mom and dad, eh? Here comes a new bible (not given by anybody, but actually bought by own initiative), a willing tutor, and here comes God! The fact that mom and dad went to a Sunday service on their own is a great step already.

            

            Then to tackle this question. I’m not alone, pretty sure. I’d been dangerously playing and toying with this thought. “Shall I leave Hope when ministry with its time-consumption gets too overwhelming?” Whenever I have this flash thought, a lot of rebuking thoughts popped up. From many many bros and sis.

            Especially this from Feei Na. During my Form 6 years, when I wasn’t a Hope girl, she shared to me how life can be so fulfilling and exciting as she serve God in Hope Serdang. I was excited and asked God to use me greatly, and I was waiting to get myself into a Hope church because of the many doors and windows for God’s ministry and service. This kinda remind myself why did I join Hope church in the first place. I also remember the excitement , when the heart first goes dup-dup-dup knowing that God is going to use me and what I am for His own purpose.

            This is an encouraging thought… but ths time around, it’s convicting power is somewhat lesser.

            Then comes Sis Lina again. She was sharing about Aaron running to the altar and stood in the midst of live and dead people to pray to God for the plague to stop. Plague is killing many people in a rapid rate and Aaron instead of being afraid that he’ll kena the plague himself, stood among the still-alive people and praying that their hope of staying alive might just come true.

            Sis Lina shared ‘No one can guarantee that one can be faithful to God and still be with God at the end of his/her life. Even I can’t guarantee it myself.’ And my heart felt so bad for XXX’s sis who left Hope Church because of the amount of ministry, because simply leaving doesn’t solve anything but only lessen the capability of what God can do with our lives? Then Sis Lina said some cutting words ‘Will you be the one to betraiy Hope Church?’ I felt terrible knowing that my answer is … I just might will. I don’t want to be that.

            When Daniel openly shared about Hope or non, I can’t imagine how sad it is for someone to leave the group. How many hearts will be broken…? Like Amy, I’d realize that I’ll also be heart-broken if suddenly I dun see some people among us. Then it dawn on me that I am the one person toying with the thoughts of disappearing and  breaking my brothers and sisters golden hearts.

            Now… Hurting my precious family of God is going to cause more hurt on myself. To avoid that, I’d stop thinking stupid things like going away when things get overwhelming. I don’t wanna believe that my capability and faith is that disappointing low. It’s not true, anyway. ;p

            Above all… This is a wonderful family God, and God has done great things in my life. He deserves all glory my life can give to Him and I live for Him. I want more of God in my life and His purpose in my life, less of myself and less of my selfish desires daily.

Thank you Lord for what I’ve learnt and all the answered confusion. May I be a blessing to your people. Amen.